Crystal Palace 3-0 Tottenham: 10-man Spurs dominated at Selhurst Park

Trash. Tottenham Hotspur went to Crystal Palace, a team that many tipped to be relegated preseason, undefeated and top of the table. Then the match kicked off and Spurs laid an egg. Missing a number of key players, Spurs played terribly from the opening kick. Eric Dier picked up an early injury and had to be subbef off, Japhet Tanganga got sent off for two quick yellow cards, Ben Davies was flagged for a handball penalty that Wilfried Zaha converted, and new boy Edsonne Edouard scored two lovely goals as a second half sub as Palace cruised to a 3-0 home win at Selhurst Park.

Pain. Here are my match notes, for what it’s worth.

Match notes and reactions

• Just a disastrous, trash-ass performance from Tottenham, front to back. Garbage football.
• Hugo Lloris owes Eric Dier dinner (or more than that) for rolling a bad ball in front of him that directly led to Eric’s injury. That was awful.
• The first half in one word: bleak. Dull football, little possession, no shots, even off target. Kane stranded on an island, midfielders can’t even make simple passes.
• The interaction between Zaha and Tanganga could’ve easily resulted in two reds, there was a LOT going on there — attempted headbuts, hands to the neck, shoving, etc. In the end, two yellows seems fair.
• Tanganga’s second yellow was absolutely deserved. Maybe it was a soft card, but considering what happened just prior you can’t say it wasn’t a bad tackle. You just can’t do that.
• That was the easiest handball penalty call you’ll ever see. What was Davies DOING?
• It does feel a little galling that Zaha is the one who scored the penalty when he probably should’ve been sent off (along with Japhet tbf) in that sideline incident.
• Edouard scoring twice (nice finishes though) with his first touch is just poopy icing on this crap cake. Maybe Spurs should’ve tried to sign him.
• Nuno has a LOT to answer for after that terrible starting XI and his subs.
• Tottenham suck. Go take a walk, you’ll feel better.