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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Monday, September 6

elite time-wasting

Tottenham Hotspur Women v Birmingham City Women - Barclays FA Women’s Super League Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Getty Images

Hello, all!

At the top today is defender Kerys Harrop.

Ramble of the Day

Unabashed time-wasting is just one subsection of shthousery, but one we see infrequently at a high level. We tend to get stuck with the basic, somewhat annoying version of it. True commitment to the art of unabased time-wasting is rare, after all, making it even rarer for us to find such a shining example of it. When we do, though, we must treasure it.

That’s your cue, Henry Kessler.

I did not watch this match, but I did check out the replay to confirm what I’d heard. Right after Kessler did everything he could to waste time, the Philadelphia Union’s Jakob Glesnes shoved Kessler and the two teams got into a scuffle. The whole thing is just extremely enjoyable, though I understand why any Union supporter may not find it nearly as funny. (I would argue, though, that this is objectively funny.)

I have hardly been keeping up to date on 2021 in Shithousery, but Kessler is probably a contender for Best Time-wasting of the Year. What a way to liven up a simple scenario.

tl;dr: The New England Revolution’s Henry Kessler did some noteworthy time-wasting the other day and caused a scuffle.

Stay informed, read this: Tumaini Carayol on the silence from tennis officials regarding allegations of abuse by Alexander Zverev for the Guardian

Links of the Day

The US’ Zack Steffen, four Washington Spirit players, and four Newport County players tested positive for COVID-19.

A World Cup qualifier between Guinea and Morocco was postponed following a coup d’état in Guinea.

The US’ Weston McKennie missed Sunday’s World Cup qualifier against Canada after he was suspended by the team for breaking COVID-19 protocols.

Australia’s W-League will expand from nine to 12 teams ahead of the 2023 World Cup.

Transfers: Arsenal signed Tobin Heath on a free; Beşiktaş signed Miralem Pjanić on loan from Barcelona

A longer read: Suzanne Wrack interviews Arsenal’s Vivianne Miedema on her time at the Olympics with the Netherlands and Arsenal’s aim in the WSL this season for the Guardian