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BREAKING: Ousmane Dembele to Tottenham a “serious option”

OH MY GOD

Granada CF v FC Barcelona - La Liga Santander Photo by Jose Breton/Pics Action/NurPhoto via Getty Images

Y’all. Y’ALL. Just when I thought Tottenham Hotspur’s January window couldn’t get anymore bonkers, there’s this that just crossed my feed: apparently Ousmane Dembele has emerged as a “serious option” to leave Barcelona for Tottenham Hotspur.

...Yes, THAT Tottenham Hotspur.

Barcelona is pretty desperate to offload Dembele to whomever would take him, apparently to the extent that they’re willing to sanction one heck of a deal just to get him off their books. Also, this is ostensibly because balancing their own books requires that they get him the hell out of town.

Now, look — there’s a very real chance that this isn’t going to end up happening. In fact, it makes more sense that it WOULDN’T happen than that it would. It’d be a tricky transfer (or loan?) to navigate with only a few hours left in the window, Ousmane’s making more money than God, and it would be kind of weird if it actually did.

But. BUT. What if it does?! I mean seriously — what if Ousmane Dembele signs with Tottenham Hotspur?!

He’d certainly make one hell of a right wing back.

UPDATE: Friggin’ Fabrizio tweeted this two minutes after I posted, siiiiiiiiiiigh