The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham news and links for Friday, March 4

Good morning and happy friday hoddlers. February’s Player of the Month Ashleigh Neville graces our header today.

When I was just a youngin’, I would sit on the floor and watch this television show called Robot Wars. What could be more fun than watching robots fight against each other, right? Well, I think that show eventually died down and I grew up, being withheld from robot combats for many years.

Until 2015, that is, when Battlebots made its glorious debut on the silver screen. While the first season was rough to watch, it’s found its groove and is one of the greatest things on television.

Imagine it: two 250-pound destructive robots destroying each other. Just take a look at this:

It exploded! The first time I saw that fight my jaw hit the floor. Have you ever seen a vertical spinner to damage like that before?

This Battlebots season is already underway, but we’ve already got a couple top contenders. First is that green bot that got pummeled in the video: Sawblaze. This guy’s a little different than other bot configurations with that hammersaw weapon. It’s picked up two impressive wins, but got clobbered against this year’s favourite: Endgame.

That’s right - Endgame. The New Zealand bot won the Giant Nut (that’s the trophy) in dominant fashion last year, and looks even stronger this season. Three wins, three knockouts - and against some top bots too.

But fitzie’s pick for the trophy this year (and possibly a dark horse) is Ribbot. Don’t let that frog-looking facade fool you, this machine packs a serious punch.

The Ribbot boys are also undefeated so far with some knockout victories of their own, thanks to that powerful disc spinner. And it’s pretty agile, too. But can it withstand a three-minute bout? That’s what separates the contenders from the pretenders.

And there are plenty of contenders competing this year including former champions and finalists, as well as bots who’ve been voted as most destructive in years past. An expanded field means more diversity among the robots, and exciting matchups.

The playoffs are coming soon. Let us hope for more robot carnage.

Fitzie’s track of the day: A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall, by Bryan Ferry

And now for your links:

Russia to appeal against football ban imposed by Fifa and Uefa

Biennial World Cup is ‘off the table’, says Uefa president ($$)

Fifa urged to reopen transfer window and give players in Russia escape route

Funds from Chelsea sale reportedly will not go only to Ukrainian victims

Everton fund Boreham Wood’s one-off all-black kit ahead of their FA Cup clash

David Goodwillie banned from Clyde’s Broadwood Stadium