Friends, while seemingly every Tottenham Hotspur fans were doomering their way to misery around me, I have never felt so calm before a Tottenham Hotspur match with such import. And it turns out I was right not to be worried. Tottenham Hotspur went to Carrow Road to face already-relegated Norwich City, knowing they needed a mere draw to clinch Champions League football and a top four finish.
They did more than that. They frickin’ smashed them 5-0. Dejan Kulusevski and Harry Kane both scored in the first half, Deki added another one, and Son Heung-Min fired in a late brace to give Spurs an emphatic win and ensuring Champions League football next season and a fourth placed finish.
In the process, Son Heung-Min briefly became the Premier League’s leading scorer before Mohammed Salah scored for Liverpool, meaning both Sonny and Salah will share the Golden Boot this season with 23 goals.
OH WHAT A NIGHT / WATCHING TOTTENHAM ON A TUESDAY NIGHT / YOU PLAY THURSDAY ‘COZ YOU’RE F**KING SH*TE / WHAT A FEELING WHAT A NIGHT
For the last time this season, it’s time to rate the players!
Rate the players from 1⁄2 to 5 stars. If the player doesn’t deserve a rating due to minutes played, DO NOT RANK. I will round the stars up/down to the nearest half-star for the player ratings later this week.
If you’re on mobile or found this via AMP and the survey isn’t appearing below, here’s a direct link.