The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham news and links for Tuesday, August 16

good morning everyone -

This is a Tottenham Hotspur blog? You coulda fooled fitzie.

Last week the Hoddle of Coffee highlighted a wonderful transfer announcement video from Burnley FC a la Fawlty Towers.

Apparently it was such a smashing success (Burnley’s announcement, not the hoddle) that the Clarets followed that up with another recent signing.

And the inspiration behind that announcement video? Bruce Forsyth’s Generation Game:

Let’s recap what passed through on the conveyor belt before the loaning of Nathan Tella: a year’s supply of Fruitella, a year’s supply of nutella, a case of Stella, The Arctic Monkeys’ Arabella, a meal cooked by Nigella (Lawson), ‘our very own Bella’, a fortune tella’, telephone, an umbrella, a cardboard cutout of Nelson Mandela, pizza time Goodfella’s, mozzarella, a cuddly elephant, some tasty paella (which they pronounce weird) and Burnley’s new signing - Nathan Tella.

I thought the Fawlty Turf video could not be beat. But this smashes it. What a video! Okay, some of these are absurdly good - the Arabella, a cardboard cutout of Nelson Mandela and pizza time Goodfella’s.

They kinda lost me there on the “paella” pronunciation, but I’ll let it pass. If only because it leads us to Nathan Tella lounging on a sofa.

Also, that looked like a bunny instead of an elephant. But whatever. Rabbits are the elephants of the underground, are they not?

Transfer announcement videos like this make me almost wish the window would never shut. If there were a memorandum on the transfer window never shutting, but on the condition every club had to make an announcement video like this, I’d likely support it.

Well done, Burnley. Bring on deadline day!

Fitzie’s track of the day: Arabella, by the Arctic Monkeys

And now for your links:

Charlie Eccleshare ($$): Antonio Conte’s defiance transferring to his Tottenham squad

Alasdair Gold’s latest video on the Chelsea-Spurs dugout tension, James Garner and more

Dan KP: Spurs to appoint Leonardo Gabbanini as chief scout

Darwin Nunez’s sending off hands Liverpool a long-term concern

Police investigating alleged assault at Solihull Moors home match

US judge approves $24m equal pay settlement for USWNT