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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham news and links for Thursday, August 4

Away kits - the best! and the worst!

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Tottenham Hotspur v AS Roma - Pre-Season Friendly Photo by Ahmad Mora/DeFodi Images via Getty Images

good morning everyone.

Yesterday we looked at the best and worst home kits in the Premier League. Today we look at the away kits! Let’s get right to it:

Best: Brentford

Brentford did a noble thing by not announcing a new home kit for this season, thus not swindling their fans.

But they did give us a new away kit, and it looks glorious. An homage to the 1992-96s kits, it has a wonderful light blue colourway with some sweet navy cuffs. The throwback club crest looks great. Even the advert logo works well.

And they’ve even got a bee on the back collar. Just wonderful!

Worst: Everton

The anti-Brentford. A cotton candy pink, an awkward looking advert, strange geometric shapes and a club crest that looks like it’s been stamped on.

Speaking of being stamped on - Everton lost to Minnesota United 4-0 when they wore this kit.

It’s some modern, horror-inspired Pepto-Bismol take on the geometric patterns that besieged the 1980s.

You have to feel sorry for Dele right now, don’t you?

Best: Aston Villa

This is a nice, clean look with some subtle details that you don’t need a magnifying glass to notice (hello, Forest home kit). Love some vertical stripes.

The claret piping on the shoulders, collar and cuffs look really nice too.

Worst: Tottenham

We knew this one was coming, didn’t we? I went through so many pictures of this kit but it always looked terrible, regardless of the angle.

And the cockerel is placed in the middle too. That’s so dumb! If you need to move the club crest away from its traditional place in the upper-left chest, then you should rethink the kit.

And what is it with the colours anyways? Such a waste of purple.

Best: Nottingham Forest

This is better, Forest, nice one.

What I didn’t like about their home kit was that you couldn’t see the design on the sleeves because it was red-on-red-on-red. But here we can actually see the design inspired by the Trent Bridge. And it looks really good!

The ironworks pattern also shows up on the collar and sides. The design being a little bit loud offsets nicely with the plain front/back. They complement each other well.

I don’t even know where to begin: Southampton

Okay first: Gosh that advert is just the ugliest looking thing. The gigantic circle at the beginning will always make the kit look lopsided regardless where the crest is (mercifully it’s where it should be this time). And there’s a huge chunk of white space because of it.

Soton’s badge also looks out of place for, you know, not being a gigantic blue thing.

But these waves. It is absolutely the wildest thing I’ve seen in some time. It’s so garish. Truthfully, I think I love it. But I also think I hate it. The feelings come to me in waves, like Southampton’s shirt. My love of the kit washes over me, crashes and fades, making way for a powerful hatred to enter my heart. But then I’ll love it again. Right now I actually do like it. Do I?

Oh, and there’s also a neon-yellow chevron pattern on the shoulders.

These are wild!

Fitzie’s track of the day: Tenor Madness, by Sonny Rollins

And now for your links:

Antonio Conte speaks on closing the gap on Liverpool and Manchester City

Dan KP: Premier League players to take knee during ‘significant moments’

England Lionesses ask for change to ensure continued success in open letter to British prime minister candidates

The Athletic ($$): Champions League to get semi-automated offside technology during group stage this season

Transfer news: Kasper Schmeichel joins OGC Nice

EFL reviewing files linking Cambodian diplomat to Birmingham City