The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Monday, January 16

hello hello

There’s not getting around it. The North London Derby yesterday sucked.

Do we really want some fun, happy-go-lucky hoddle today with your semi-vacationing hoddler-in-chief making wise cracks? No, no one wants that.

So here’s something else that sucks, and maybe you British hoddlers will enjoy it.

I’m talking about Henry the Hoover.

Ignore the Tools Review and look at the hoover (or a vacuum). Look at those eyes, that smile!

My old landlord had a Henry Hoover. I got to use it to clean my flat. Sure, cleaning was a chore but Henry the Hoover made it worthwhile!

So yes, Henry the Hoover sucks.

But at least that’s because it’s supposed to.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Harlem Nocturne, by the Lounge Lizards

And now for your links:

Jonathan Liew: Tottenham going nowhere as Arsenal ‘kick on with intent’

Dan KP: It’s time for Spurs to ask if Antonio Conte deserves a new contract

Ex-Brighton midfielder Enock Mwepu in hospital after falling ill

Chelsea sign Mykhailo Mudryk to eight-and-a-half year deal