Cast your mind back a decade if you can. It’s October of 2013-14. Andre Villas-Boas is still sexily stalking the White Hart Lane sidelines with a trench coat and side buckle. Spurs are in fourth place after nine games with what then felt like an impressive 19 points from a possible 27. Roberto Soldado is Tottenham’s leading scorer with four goals (three of them penalties). Harry Kane was still wearing kit #37.
And Tottenham Hotspur’s social team posted one of the best fun Spurs social videos ever made.
I’m embedding it in this article but Spurs, in their infinite wisdom, decided back in the day to block their social videos from embedding anywhere so you’re going to have to click through to watch it on YouTube. And you really, really should.
The premise is simple — various Tottenham players are called into a darkened studio, ostensibly to do some silly and spooky Halloween themed interviews. The cameras start rolling without their knowledge. Meanwhile, Kyle Walker slips up behind them wearing a skeleton mask and SCARES THE ALMIGHTY BEJEEZUS OUT OF THEM.
Simple. Easy. And oh my god, so, SO funny.
Walker’s victims are Sandro, Andros Townsend, Jermain Defoe, Jan Vertonghen, Steffen Freund, Kyle Naughton, Emmanuel Adebayor, and Heurelho Gomes. Each of their reactions are incredible.
Sandro, possibly the most physically imposing of the group, responds by screaming and then beating the crap out of Walker. Townsend shrieks and collapses in fright, then leaps up and hugs Walker before Sandro, who knows the score, races in and they all jump around laughing.
Defoe adds a wrinkle by donning his own scary pumpkin mask before the jump. Freund, then on staff, looks like he wants to punt Walker into the sea. Gomes has maybe the most visceral reaction, lying on the ground and making animal noises like he’s having a panic attack.
But the best is Vertonghen, who’s checking his phone when Walker jumps out, and he... does nothing. Just looks right at him without any change of reaction. Ice cold, Jan. Ice. Cold.
I can’t believe this video is a ten years old now. They should’ve just shuttered the entire social team after that and closed the YouTube channel because I don’t think anything’s ever topped it. It certainly was the high watermark of the season — things went off the rails in the early part of 2014, Villas-Boas was sacked, and Tottenham concluded their campaign in sixth after a few increasingly hallucinogenic months under Tim Sherwood.
But this video remains. And it’s perfect. Happy Halloween, y’all.