The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Tuesday, April 4

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Top Chef Tuesday! Featuring Tottenham Hotspur Stadium !!

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. It’s why I’ve gone into this whole ‘writing’ thing. Let’s get right into it.

Top Chef World All Stars Episode 4: Spurred Lines

Was there a Tottenham Hotspur Stadium sighting? YES BABYYYYYYYYYYYY! AND IT WAS GLORIOUS. BONUS: LEDLEY KING WAS THERE!

Elimination Challenge winner: N/A

Eliminated: Luciana

This episode is why I started our Top Chef Tuesdays. Because, as we’ve known for some time, Top Chef is at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium!

I don’t even care about the Quickfire challenge. Ali won it - and immunity - after being in the bottom last week. He made some pretty good biscuits, the guest judge and Padma thought.

Ok ok ok ok ok let’s get to the things we really care about.

Our host Padma makes the unforgivable error of introducing Tottenham Hotspur Stadium (less catchy than White Hart Lane) as home of “The Tottenham Hotspurs” while the programme shows a club not wearing lillywhite in possession of the ball at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium (again, less catchy than White Hart Lane).

And the guest judge? LEDLEY KING!

The challenge was loosely based on the whole ‘relegation’ system of the Premier League. Our remaining chefs would be paired in four teams of three. There were two different initial contests: two sets of one group vs one, with the loser facing the other loser. The three chefs who lost the second round would be pitted against each other to determine the top loser.

Really is more like the Bundesliga than the PL, but whatevs who cares because we’re at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

Our head judge Tom Colicchio is wearing a read jumper, how uncouth. Ledly King is to Padma’s right at the judges table, they’re seated outside our glorious non-corporate-branded sports complex.

Round One, part one: Begona, Luciana and Gabri (Green Team) vs Victoire, Amar, and Nicole (Red Team)

Each team has to create dish featuring Stilton cheese, yummy. Top Chef Italy winner Victoire needs medical attention at the end after Nicole works with some walnuts, which Victoire is very allergic to. The Red Team (booo red) wins, sending Michelin star Chef Begona and company into the next, inglorious round.

Round One, part two: Charbel, Sylwia, and Sara (Spurple) vs Buddha, Tom, and Ali (Spyellow)

Of course Spurple prevails here in a challenge featuring Wensleydale, which I’ve definitely heard of before watching this show. Ali, immune in this challenge, is still sitting comfortably while viewers anticipate a challenging final duel between German Tom and Aussie-American Buddha.

Round Two: Begona, Luciana and Gabri vs Buddha, Tom and Ali

But we don’t have to worry about Buddha or German Tom going home because they serve an incredible Bramley Apple pie dish conceptualised by the Top Chef Season 19 winner himself.

Round Three: Begona vs Luciana vs Gabri

This is a tough one because all three of these chefs are Top Chef winners, and great friends. They are tasked with honouring peas in their final dish. And when you have to honour the pea, you really have to honour the pea.

Begona, a vegetable lover and self-acclaimed pea person, created the most wonderful looking pea dish. The judges weren’t certain of her cookery of the peas, but were more convinced of her pea-forward dish than Luciana.

At the end, it’s the Brazilian winner who was ordered to pack her knives and go. But it may not be the end for her, there is still Last Chance Kitchen.

Though honestly who cares, right? Ledley King is the real winner here.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Tell Me, by Long Beach Dub Allstars

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): United are sold on Kane, but would Spurs let him go?

Dan KP: Tottenham’s post-Conte life suffers from same problems as before

Jurgen Klopp says he is still Liverpool manager ‘because of the past’

England Lionesses switch to blue shorts after players voice period concerns