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New 2023-24 Tottenham home kits released, available now

These kits are exactly as we expected them to be!

Tottenham Hotspur have a new head coach, and now they have new kits! Spurs officially released their 2023-24 home kits on social media, and they’re available for sale now at Tottenham’s website!

Here’s a look at the home top. It’s a white shirt!

I always love the marketing copy for new kit designs, because they’re so transparently bullshit. They might as well be “inspired by the breakfast I had this morning and Chirpy’s feathery ass,” especially since they’re basically a white t-shirt with a subtle pattern printed on them. But regardless of that, they actually look pretty dope in person on Tottenham’s players. I kind of like the (completely superfluous) sublimated pattern on the kits, and the contrast between the rings on the sleeve ends and the lack of a colored collar is kind of striking and unique.

And... and... are those white shorts?! It’s almost like, the one year we don’t make Europe, we decided “screw it, let’s pretend we’re in Europe anyway.” I dig it. Spurs always look better in all white anyway.

And speaking of shorts, the club did a good thing by addressing the ongoing discussion over white shorts and menstrual issues in the women’s game by announcing that Spurs Women would be wearing the “alternate” blue shorts in home games. This is a welcome announcement and I’m happy that the club listened to feedback and addressed the needs of their women’s team in this small way.

Spurs will debut the new all-white digs on their preseason tour to Asia, starting with the match against (Europa Conference League champions gaaaak) West Ham in Perth in on July 18. The replica shirts cost $95, while the “Elite” trim costs $150 which is way too much but this is a topic for another article by your curmudgeonly middle-aged blogger.

The one thing we didn’t get is an away kit, which I kind of expected along with the homes to be honest. The leaked photos of the away kit doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence as they have some weird shading and what looks like an even weirder collar, but I’ll reserve judgement until I see the real thing in the glitzy promotional photos.

There’s also a third kit that’s apparently in varying shades of beige (“taupe”) that isn’t released yet, but I’d expect those to enter into the wild also by the time Spurs head to Asia this summer.

Now that you’ve seen the new kits on actual players, what are your thoughts? Post ‘em in the comments, fam.