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Bournemouth 0-2 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of Ange Postecoglou’s podcast playlist

Ange Postecoglou, Podcast Enjoyer™.

Australia Training & Press Conference - 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Photo by Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images

Another match, another positive result for Ange-Ball. Tottenham Hotspur travelled to Bournemouth to face the Cherries at a rainy Vitality Stadium, and came away 2-0 winners thanks to a first Spurs goal from James Maddison, and a second from Dejan Kulusevski. The result temporarily put Spurs top of the table, though they ended the day second to West Ham on goals scored. Still — Spurs are undefeated in three matches and head to Fulham on Tuesday in the 2nd round of the League Cup before a trip to Burnley this weekend.

Today’s theme comes out of Ange Postecoglou’s own comments. In a press conference last week, Big Ange mentioned a Louis Theroux podcast he listened to that helped inform him on a soccer-related issue, though he couldn’t remember the interviewee (Nick Cave), something that tickled the assembled media. Then, this week in the pre-match presser ahead of the Bournemouth match, a journalist asked him if he’d listened to any good pods lately. His response?

“I’m not your weekly reviewer or recommender [of podcasts], do your own research, mate.”

Well, we did. And now that we know that Ange is a Podcast Enjoyer™, this is my best guess as to what’s in his listening queue. Here are your Tottenham Hotspur player ratings for the win over Bournemouth to the theme of podcasts in Big Ange’s Spotify playlist. (Or Podbean, or Pocket Casts, or whatever your pod-playing app of choice is.)

5 stars: Wheeler Dealer Radio

We see you, Big Ange. All you have to do is mention Brett Rainbow in a press conference sometime and we’ll really know.

James Maddison (Community — 4.5): God. This guy. THIS GUY. I thought maybe he’d take a half-step back after a knock in the last match. If anything, he got better and even scored his first goal for the club. Best part was that he started making the run to the box even before Sarr played him in. That’s an indication that Ange-Ball is starting to click.

4.5 stars: Gotta Be Done - A Bluey Podcast

We’re certain that Ange loves and watches Bluey religiously because we’re equally certain that all Aussies love and watch Bluey religiously. This is the definitive Bluey pod and I have no doubts it races to the top of Ange’s Spotify queue.

Destiny Udogie (Community — 4.5): I wouldn’t have expected Destiny to thrive as an inverted fullback but he’s taken to the role with aplomb. Very strong performance on both ends of the ball — his drive into the box and cutback to Deki was spectacular.

Micky van de Ven (Community — 4.5): I continue to be more and more impressed with VDV’s pace, vision, and ability to time a tackle. Boy does he remind me of Jan Vertonghen sometimes, and he had moments where he looked a little flustered under pressure. His ceiling is only going to get higher.

Ange Postecoglou (Community — 4.5): Set up his team well (even if it was unchanged), used his subs well, never let the team sit back and defend a lead. Great stuff.

4 stars: The Unplayable Podcast

It’s cricket, mate, and this is the best test cricket pod in Oz. We know Ange watches the Ashes, so he’s going to keep up to date with his other favorite sport, and you also know he’s not listening to the effing BBC’s pod.

Pedro Porro (Community — 4.0): Last week’s first half defensive performance spoiled what was an outstanding second half. This week he wasn’t especially outstanding, he was just solid from whistle to whistle. Defensive positioning was much improved and he covered every inch of grass up and down his flank. Good match.

Cuti Romero (Community — 4.0): Very good defensive performance, imperious at times. Got away with what probably should’ve been a yellow card-worthy sliding tackle on Semenyo had the match official not been on quaaludes.

Dejan Kulusevski (Community — 4.0): He needed that goal. Good vision to make the late run into the box and get the touch for Spurs’ second goal. He’s struggled a bit to make an impact this year but I hope this is the catalyst to turn a corner.

3.5 stars: Louis Theroux Podcast

OK, we KNOW Ange listens to this one because this is the exact pod that he mentioned in the press conference after the Manchester United match. Here’s the episode, featuring Aussie singer Nick Cave.

Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 4.0): Elmo did fine. He didn’t have a ton to do but did manage to make a couple of decent saves when called upon, including a superb stop on Ryan Christie. Continues to be adventurous (in a good way) with his distribution, and looks more settled in the side with every match.

Yves Bissouma (Community — 4.0): Central to much of what Spurs did in the match, and it still felt like a half-step back for him this match. Got fouled a LOT in that match and picked up a cheap yellow such that his subbing was necessary. He’s set the bar so high already.

Pape Matar Sarr (Community — 4.0): Superb through-ball to assist Maddison for Spurs’ opening goal and had a weak-footed shot easily saved. Looked a little more naïve at times in this match, but still had plenty of good moments in possession.

Son Heung-Min (Community — 3.5): It’s a different role than what he (and we) are used to, but Sonny got forward quite well especially in the first half, flashed a shot wide, and was involved in Kulusevski’s goal. No, he’s not banging them in for fun yet, but he’s plenty involved.

Ivan Perisic (Community — 3.5): Didn’t make as much of an impact as in past matches but continued to work well with Udogie on the left side and had a role in Spurs’ second goal.

Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg (Community — 3.5): Did well to stabilize midfield after Bissouma started to tire and picked up a cheap yellow. Solid performance, if not flashy.

3 stars: You’re Dead To Me

Ange seems like a guy who doesn’t like to take himself too seriously and likes a good laugh. He also strikes me as someone who’s naturally curious about things — he said “You never stop learning, mate,” so I can absolutely see him listening to, and enjoying, this history/comedy pod. It’s also hosted by Greg Jenner, a really superb guy and a die-hard, committed Spurs fan. You’re Dead To Me is fully COYS, as is Big Ange.

Richarlison (Community — 2.5): Look, Richy’s getting more and more stick and he absolutely got stuck inside his own head in the second half. That said, he was again excellent in the press, was extremely unlucky not to score, and continues to get into good positions in the box. I’m not worried about him. I just need him to put one in off his ass or something.

Gio Lo Celso (Community — 3.0): Great to see him out there, and I wanted more opportunities for him, but by that point the game was already pretty well in hand.

Oliver Skipp (Community — 3.0): Big ol’ shrug emoji. He was fine.

2 stars: Casefile

Everyone has that one podcast in your queue that you know is kinda trash but for some reason you just can’t quit it. I suspect this is Ange’s — Casefile is an Aussie true crime podcast. A lot of people are secretly into true crime podcasts. Your secret is safe with us, Ange.

No Tottenham players were in this category.

1 star: Joe Rogan

“Come on gaffer, give it a chance. He’s got some real interesting guests and he’s just asking questions. It’ll open your mind and encourage you to do your own research on the most important issues of our time.”

“Eric, mate, I’m not interested, just let it go and get back in the rondo or I’m selling you to Everton.”

No Tottenham Hotspur players were as bad as the Joe Rogan podcast.

Tom Carroll Memorial Non-Rating

Ben Davies