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Dispatches from #batcountry

Dispatches from Bat Country: January 2024 Review #3 - Defenders

Like a bat out of hell, Dier’ll be gone when the morning comes

Dispatches from Bat Country: January 2024 Review #2 - Midfielders

Nananananananananananananananana Bat Country!

Dispatches from Bat Country: January 2024 Review #1 - Forwards

Let’s talk about Bat Country, let’s talk about you and me

Dispatches from Bat Country: January 2024 DEADLINE DAY

Bring it on.

Dispatches from Bat Country: January 2024, week four

Will Gil get gone?

Dispatches from Bat Country: January 2024, week three

Eric Dier loves Bayern, Bayern is... kinda into Eric Dier, I guess

Dispatches from Bat Country: January 2024, week two

Eric Dier loves Bayern, Bayern is... kinda into Eric Dier, I guess

Dispatches from Bat Country: January 2024, week one

It’s transfer saga time!

Bat Country: No, Harry Kane is not buying out the last year of his contract

This would be sad if it weren’t so pathetic by a certain German outlet.

Bat Country: For the last time, Spurs are not buying Gareth Bale

Filed under "not this again."

Dispatches from Batcountry: no, Inter Milan have probably not agreed a deal for Tanguy Ndombele

This is almost certainly agent-driven news.

Tottenham Hotspur negotiating Gareth Bale transfer. Can it really happen?

A deadline day move away from Real Madrid feels unlikely given the circumstances.

Batcountry: Spurs to attempt swoop for Southampton’s Hojbjerg

Oh yeah, THAT’S the stuff.

Bat Country: Spurs want Thomas Lemar on loan from Atletico Madrid

Silly Season has returned!

Bat Country: Zidane demands Real Madrid sign Eriksen

Real Madrid want Eriksen. In other news, water is wet.

Report: Levy tried to sign Bale on loan; it did not work

Levy gonna Levy

Report: Spurs tried to buy Fulham’s Mitrovic on deadline day

Who knows if this actually happened, but going after Mitro in the summer would be neat.

Dispatches from Bat Country: Real Madrid inquiring about Harry Kane

Sure, you can ask. You just have to ask Levy.

Unreliable sources link Fernando Llorente with January transfer to Spain and Turkey

These are really stupid sources and I kind of hope one of them is accurate!

Bat Country: Tottenham looking to Norwich for right back depth

Silly Season is here, everyone! Let’s head to the salt mine.

No, Real Madrid are not purchasing Kieran Trippier for £50m

It’s crazy and won’t happen. (But — SHHHH — it’s also a not entirely terrible idea!)

No, Gareth Bale isn’t coming back to Tottenham

It’d be super cool if it happened. It isn’t going to happen.

#Batcountry: Antonio Conte wants Llorente at Chelsea

Silly season!

Bat Country: Rumor mill somehow links Spurs to Benfica Fullback

January is right around the corner, so Bat Country is in full swing.

Bat Country: Manchester United want Harry Kane instead of Cristiano Ronaldo

Jose Mourinho is a dreamer.

Bat Country: Spurs offering Sissoko to Barcelona

This is possibly the greatest transfer rumor of all time.

Bat Country: Lamela to Roma?

It was only a matter of time before we heard this rumor.

#batcountry: Are Spurs swooping for Gaitan?

The rumor mill is swirling, saying that Spurs have enquired about either a purchase or loan for Gaitan, despite him having joined Atletico only this past summer.

Bat Country: Dele to China?

The super-rich want to keep throwing the cash around.

Bat Country: Sissoko for Barkley?

Whatever you say, Mirror.

Bat Country: Davies to Palace on loan?

Ah, the joys of following the club that gets ALL the rumors.

Chelsea, Bayern target ‘unhappy’ Eric Dier

Dumb rumor is dumb