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Can you name the Tottenham Hotspur players in this Christmas party photo?

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This is the best thing to happen in the history of the club.

Guys. GUYS. GUYS GUYS GUYS. GUISE. YOU GUYS.

Just LOOK at what Georges-Kevin N’Koudou posted on Twitter today! It’s a team photo taken from Tottenham Hotspur’s Christmas party, and it’s the best thing I’ve seen in months.

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

(First, do people really dress up as characters for Christmas parties in England? I thought that was a Halloween thing.)

This photo is amazing because it looks like the players really really took things seriously. It was hinted at by Harry Kane in his Twitter feed yesterday, and it looks like Kane actually went out and had professional makeup done. Harry Kane doesn’t do anything half-assed, it seems, and that includes dressing up as fictional characters for a holiday party.

But the biggest question that remains is: who’s who in the photo, and what kinds of conclusions can we draw from it? These kinds of issues are extremely Cartilage Free Captain’s s**t. So we had a crack at it.

Tottenham Hotspur holiday party

Here’s a breakdown of who we think are in which costumes:

  • Dele Alli — Alli G.
  • Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy — Eric Dier
  • Captain America — Michel Vorm
  • Bane — Harry Kane
  • Oompah Loompahs -- Kieran Trippier & Ben Davies
  • Ghostbusters: Harry Winks, Cameron Carter-Vickers, Josh Onomah
  • The Terminator — Hugo Lloris
  • Mrs. Doubtfire — Kyle Walker (OMG)
  • Gingerbread Man — Erik Lamela
  • Will Smith from Fresh Prince of Bel Air — Mousa Dembele
  • Harry Potter — Christian Eriksen (in one of the most appropriate costumes ever)
  • Weird Dude Creepin’ Under the Mirror Ball — Moussa Sissoko
  • Ninja Turtle — Son Heung-Min (unconfirmed but we sure hope so)
  • Zach Galifianakis-Looking Dude: Jan Vertonghen
  • Teddy Bear — no idea but we really hope it’s Mauricio Pochettino
  • Iron Man, Kylo Ren, Frankenstein — unknown

Unaccounted for are players like Toby Alderweireld, Tom Carroll, Danny Rose, and GK N’Koudou himself, though we assume GKN is behind the camera.

We’re pretty sure you’re going to want to discuss this in the comments. There’s so much to discuss: Dele Alli G.! Kyle Walker in drag! Christian Eriksen is a wizard! The cold, dead eyes of Erik Lamela peering out of a Gingerbread Man costume! HARRY BANE!

Have at it.