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Tottenham Hotspur Player Ratings

Tottenham 4-3 Leeds: Player ratings to the theme of Spurs stadium scran

Let’s rate food at a stadium that nobody will be going to until December!

Tottenham 1-2 Liverpool: player ratings to the theme of revamped XFL team logos

We have XFL takes.

Bournemouth 2-3 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Halloween candy according to my kids

Let’s revisit a classic theme.

Tottenham 1-2 Newcastle: player ratings to the theme of vacations

Hands up if you need a vacation from Tottenham Hotspur.

Man United 2-0 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of islands

Yeah you can already see where I’m going with this

Tottenham 2-0 Everton: player ratings sans theme

Look man, I’m on vacation.

Brighton 0-1 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Spurs players you’d like to have a beer with

A solid, if not spectacular, away win.

Arsenal 3-1 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Spurs players as vegetables

A silly theme for a stupid match.

Tottenham 6-2 Leicester: Player ratings to the theme of Antonio Conte disguises

Going incognito to see the Queen

Tottenham 2-1 Fulham: player ratings to the theme of James Webb Space Telescope images

Space is awesome and good. So were Tottenham Hotspur.

West Ham 1-1 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Spurs summer deadline day signings

Let’s remember some guys!

Nottingham Forest 0-2 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Star Trek series (revised)

Let’s boldly go!

Tottenham 1-0 Wolves: Player ratings to the theme of jam flavors

Get your peanut butter sandwiches ready.

Chelsea 2-2 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of team names in Carty Free’s fantasy league

Puns. We love puns.

Tottenham 4-1 Southampton: Player ratings to the theme of better board games for Dier and Doherty

They can do so much better than trading sheep for wheat!

Norwich 0-5 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Top Gun pilots

ANTONIO! TAKE ME TO BED OR LOSE ME FOREVER!

Tottenham 1-0 Burnley: player ratings to the theme of Premier League mascots

That’s people in suits, not adorable children holding hands with players.

Tottenham 3-0 Arsenal: player ratings to the theme of screw it everyone gets 5 stars

We’re celebrating.

Liverpool 1-1 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of football scran

Fans gotta eat.

Tottenham Hotspur 3-1 Leicester City: player ratings to the theme of non-dairy milks

Tottenham 0-1 Brighton: Player ratings to the theme of homemade cookies

Ready, set, argue!

Aston Villa 0-4 Tottenham Hotspur: Player ratings to the theme of American national parks

All national parks are good. Some parks are more gooder than other parks.

Tottenham 5-1 Newcastle: player ratings to the theme of new castles

It’s thematic!

Tottenham 3-1 West Ham: player ratings to the theme of photos of my cats in response to Kurt Zouma

Hey Kurt — we’re animal lovers here.

Manchester United 3-2 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of Oreo cookie flavors

Who’s that kid with the Oreo cookie?

Tottenham 5-0 Everton: player ratings to the theme of spiders

Wait, WHAT? Is this really a Dustin article?

Leeds 0-4 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Wordle starting words

Nothing but green squares.

Manchester City 2-3 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Tottenham wins over Man City

I know you all wanted bread. This is better.

Tottenham 0-2 Wolves: Player ratings to the theme of badly drawn Spurs caricatures

This feels appropriate.

Tottenham 2-3 Southampton: Player ratings to the theme of AI-generated valentines

Happy Love Day!

Chelesa 2-0 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of Michigan Department of Transportation snowplow names

Snow way am I dwelling on this match.

Leicester 2-3 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of miracles

Do you believe in them? YES!