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Tottenham Hotspur Player Ratings

Chelesa 2-0 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of Michigan Department of Transportation snowplow names

Snow way am I dwelling on this match.

Leicester 2-3 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of miracles

Do you believe in them? YES!

Watford 0-1 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of mascots observing moments of silence

A quick and easy theme for a busy blogger

Southampton 1-1 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of patron saints that kind of remind me of Spurs

Let us pray (for a win).

Tottenham 3-0 Crystal Palace: player ratings to the theme of foxes

Tottenham 2-2 Liverpool: player ratings to the theme of animated rodents

Carty Free readers have spoken on Spurs’ player ratings against Liverpool.

Tottenham Hotspur 3-0 Norwich: player ratings to the theme of Christmas trees

Deck the halls.

Tottenham 2-0 Brentford: player ratings to the theme of fried potatoes

Everyone was good! Everyone was fried potatoes!

Tottenham 2-1 Leeds: Player ratings without a theme because look man, I’m busy

Time is short and needs must.

Everton 0-0 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of college athletics logos that look kinda pervy

Just go with it.

West Ham 1-0 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of actually scary horror movies

Spoiler: it isn’t Nightmare on Elm Street.

Newcastle 2-3 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of organizations that support oppressed people in Saudi Arabia

Spurs got three points, played well, and saved a life. That’s a good day.

Tottenham 2-1 Aston Villa: player ratings to the theme of footballer hair transplants

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Tottenham 0-3 Chelsea: Player ratings to the theme of Lucky Charms marshmallows

Crystal Palace 3-0 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of things burning in the Getty photo editor

Burning down the house.

Tottenham 1-0 Watford: Player Ratings to the Theme of Crusader Kings 3 patch notes

Behold.

Wolves 0-1 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of angry Arsenal fans in this photo

Why yes, we are EXACTLY this juvenile.

Tottenham 1-0 Man City: player ratings to the theme of photos of Harry Kane falling over

Y’all knew this was coming.

Tottenham 2-0 Wolves: Player ratings to the theme of destinations for Harry Kane

I feel bad for Tottenham. But this is tremendous content.

Tottenham 4-0 Sheffield United: player ratings to the theme of potential Spurs player-managers

Thinking outside the box!

Tottenham 2-1 Southampton: player ratings to the theme of Masons

Thanks, Ossiemandias!

Tottenham 1-3 Manchester United: player ratings to the theme of Sesame Street sketches that wouldn’t air today

We’re taking a trip in the way-back machine.

Newcastle 2-2 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Girl Scout Cookies

Spurs suck again, so we’re discussing cookies.

Aston Villa 0-2 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of chicken nugget dips

Get in losers, we’re dippin’ nuggets.

Arsenal 2-1 Tottenham: NLD player ratings to the theme of things that suck

Don’t make me write this.

Tottenham 4-1 Crystal Palace: player ratings to the theme of crystal palaces

Why haven’t we done this before?

Fulham 0-1 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of core M&M colors

A throwaway theme for a throwaway match.

Tottenham 4-0 Burnley: player ratings to the theme of art that resembles this photo of Gareth Bale

Art imitates life imitates art.

Manchester City 3-0 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Spurs v. City Moments

There have been a few, some good and some bad.

Tottenham 2-0 West Brom: Player ratings to the theme of self-care

Be good to yourselves.

Brighton 1-0 Tottenham: player ratings as represented by a simple table

Because who wants to write about and relive THAT?

Tottenham 1-3 Liverpool: Player ratings to the theme of inexpensive bourbon (revised)

Because we all need a drink right now.