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Tottenham Hotspur Player Ratings

Tottenham vs. Arsenal: Player ratings to the theme of Spurs players as sword types

After a battle of a derby, let’s talk SWORDS.

Arsenal vs. Tottenham: NLD Community Player Ratings

An away point in the NLD? You’d take that, right.

Tottenham vs. Sheffield United: Player ratings to the theme of Australian things that can kill you

You think that koala is cute and cuddly, but it’s hiding a knife.

Tottenham 2-1 Sheffield United: Community Player Ratings

Wow. A lot to unpack here!

Burnley 2-5 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Spurs transfer near-misses

A rating to what might have been.

Bournemouth 0-2 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of Ange Postecoglou’s podcast playlist

Ange Postecoglou, Podcast Enjoyer™.

Tottenham 2-0 Manchester United: player ratings to the theme of insane footballer hair

Hair today, gone tomorrow

Brentford 2-2 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Harry Kane goals

Time to say goodbye.

Leeds 1-4 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of TV series endings

A theme about endings to end the season.

Tottenham 1-3 Brentford: player ratings to the theme of cover songs better than the original

Distraction!

Aston Villa 2-1 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of limited edition fast food items

McRibs suck, fight me.

Tottenham 1-0 Crystal Palace: Player ratings to the theme of Kings (disambiguated)

God save the King (disambiguated)!

Liverpool 4-3 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of weird sports for when the footy’s not on

Tired of the football? Try these instead!

Tottenham 2-2 United: player ratings to the theme of native Australian fruits, ranked by how silly they sound

Australia is clearly a very silly place.

Newcastle 6-1 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of social media platforms

The player ratings theme we deserve.

Tottenham 2-1 Brighton: Player ratings to the theme of names in the most recent England U18 squad

A win’s a win.

Everton 1-1 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of Jokers sorted by height

I am turning into the Joker.

Tottenham 3-1 Nottingham Forest: player ratings to the theme of cheap American beer

Let’s "celebrate" the best of the worst beers.

Wolves 1-0 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of whale behaviors

Whale, here we go again.

Tottenham 2-0 Chelsea: player ratings to the theme of names in this unlicensed airplane football game

Tottenham 2-0 West Ham: player ratings to the theme of medieval helmets

Leicester 4-1 Tottenham: player ratings to the theme of things that are bad for you

Not doing it. Nuh uh. No way.

Tottenham 1-0 Manchester City: player ratings to the theme of superb owls

Whoooooooo are ya

Fulham 0-1 Tottenham: player ratings sans theme

We’re all busy so let’s make this quick

Arsenal 0-2 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of derbies

That blew.

Crystal Palace 0-4 Tottenham: Player Ratings to the theme of modern whodunnit movies

Let’s get mysterious.

Tottenham 0-2 Aston Villa: player ratings to the theme of 2023 Spurs New Years resolutions

A wish-list of Tottenham priorities for 2023.

Brentford 2-2 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of quotes from A Charlie Brown Christmas

A Christmas theme for a Christmas match.

Tottenham 4-3 Leeds: Player ratings to the theme of Spurs stadium scran

Let’s rate food at a stadium that nobody will be going to until December!

Tottenham 1-2 Liverpool: player ratings to the theme of revamped XFL team logos

We have XFL takes.

Bournemouth 2-3 Tottenham: Player ratings to the theme of Halloween candy according to my kids

Let’s revisit a classic theme.

Tottenham 1-2 Newcastle: player ratings to the theme of vacations

Hands up if you need a vacation from Tottenham Hotspur.