Harry Kane is ours and you can't have him

You might have heard some rumors about Southampton and Swansea City being interested in signing Harry Kane, which makes some sense on the surface. Harry Kane appears to be, for all intents and purposes, Tottenham Hotspur's third striker and a rotational player on the left wing, so those clubs might think that Kane can be had for oh, say, £7-10m.

But that would be outrageous, because Kane is pretty clearly the truth and should be playing a hell of a lot more than he is. And even though Mauricio Pochettino frustrates this site's staff by giving Emmanuel Adebayor and Roberto Soldado more chances up top than Hurrikane, he seems to value Kane and have plans for him. Here's what he had to say about Kane (not) leaving, via The Mirror.

"Harry will be at Tottenham for a long time. I am the head coach, I have to take decisions in the best interests of the team and Harry is an important player for us."

Hear that, vultures? England's Brave Harry Kane, A National Treasure, is ours and you can't have him.