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Silly rumor roundup: All the hilarious links that will go nowhere

Claudio Villa

Welcome to Dispatches from Batcountry, your home for the worst transfer rumors on the internet. Whenever we come across a transfer rumor that either makes sense or is well-sourced, we like to talk about it seriously. However, as seasoned transfer window internet pros know, that's not most transfer rumors. Most come from blogs you've never heard of, include players who would clearly never play for the team they're linked to or propose weird swap deals.

Today, we've got a roundup of the best from the last couple days. First up, Tuttosport!

We're linked to Fredy Guarin again!

It's a transfer window, so Tottenham Hotspur are linked to Inter Milan midfielder Fredy Guarin. Nevermind that he was supposedly an Andre Villas-Boas target, that he lost his Colombia place and that Inter have been trying to offload him to no avail for a year now. Spurs are obviously willing to pay up this time. And you know what? Manchester United and Atletico Madrid are in for him too, because his agent says so.

Big clubs want Nolito, but he's fine at Celta Vigo, thank you very much!

Nolito was a Barcelona prospect that never quite broke through, but he's had a decent last three years. His 2012-13 campaign wasn't great, but he was excellent for Celta Vigo last year and pretty good for Benfica in his first season with them. And apparently, even though Everton, Spurs AND Liverpool are interested, he doesn't want to leave Celta.

Yeah, okay.

Let's do a Loic Remy swap deal

Here's what the Shields Gazette has to say.

Former Newcastle United loanee Loic Remy could be offered to Tottenham Hotspur as part of a swap deal, it is reported today.

The Queens Park Rangers striker, whose proposed move to Liverpool broke down recently on medical grounds, could be used as bait by Harry Redknapp in a bid sign to Spurs winger Andros Townsend and striker Harry Kane, according to website CaughtOffside.

Except I can't find that story on CaughtOffside. Also, both of those players are worth more than Loic Remy.

Kalou can leave Lille, so we're ON ALERT

I'm really not sure why he presents an upgrade over Nacer Chadli, but sure, okay! I'm sure Tottenham Hotspur are showing serious interest in Solomon Kalou.