What would Spurs want with Javier Hernandez and Marouane Fellaini?

Some decent but not great players play for a really big club. That really big club doesn't want them anymore, but they would probably like to continue playing at the highest level, ideally for a club that is pretty reputable and has a chance of getting into Champions League. Obviously, those players are getting linked to Tottenham Hotspur.

We've heard this story a million times, and the latest edition is a report from Caught Offside that Spurs want to sign Marouane Fellaini and 'Chicharito' Javier Hernandez for a combined £24m. These players were originally purchased for a combined £40m, but they're very much out of favor at United, and the Red Devils would probably take even less than the cited price as long as they can just ditch the both of them.

You're justified in wanting to just dismiss a Caught Offside EXCLUSIVE off-hand, but let's talk about this anyway, just in case they got some pretty sweet #ITK.

There's not really any reason for Spurs want to buy either of these players. They don't bring anything to the table that the team are seriously lacking, nor are they comparable to players that Spurs have been linked to.

Hernandez, while probably a better finisher than anyone in the Spurs squad, is a very similar type of player to Roberto Soldado, who was purchased last year for a lot of money and is on massive wages. Between his wages and his performance last season, selling him -- even at a massive loss -- is basically impossible. There isn't a single team in a big European league that's going to be willing to spend a penny on a transfer fee for Soldado, and very few that would take him for free and pay his current wages. He's basically our Fernando Torres, and it seems unlikely that Spurs would bring in a comparable player after one bad season, since they're on the hook for his wages for a long time.

As for Fellaini, he doesn't fit into what Spurs do at all. If Mauricio Pochettino and Franco Baldini are pivoting away from Morgan Schneiderlin and checking out other midfielder targets, Fellaini's unlikely to be high on their list, mostly because he's not comparable to Schneiderlin at all. He's a big, lumbering dude who's better as an attacking midfielder than he is in a double pivot. Schneiderlin is an athletic, ultra-fit, pressing and ball-winning monster. Any manager who thinks they're similar players, interchangeable in the same system, doesn't know what they're doing. I'm pretty sure Pochettino knows what he's doing.

Basically, this sounds like lighting money on fire.